HAB last 2(?) days -Ali Edition

Nothing too hard happened I don't think, Drank a bottle of wine with Emma and Nate at home. Worked. Layed in bed all day on Sat watching Harry Potters. The Reader, and a few others. Had sushi for breakfast. About to head to my aunts art studio to get my mind straight and paint a bit to cool off. Time to take the rose colored glasses off since they aren't doing me any favors. 2 days till Selena is home, 5 days till Danielle is home! Cannot wait its going to make my life better this week.

-Ali

Hard Ass Bitch Day 5 (Smit Edition)

i hate to say this but nothing badass happened today. except the fact that nature kicked my ass here in NYC. i did go to a bar and have amazing dumplings at The Dumpling Man on 8th btwn 1st and A (get chicken seared with miso soup on the side) boots are officially ruined from all the rain and snow so Ali and I have planned to go vintage shopping when i come home to LA next week!!! so excited-nothing beats coming home after being away for a while and seeing all the people you love. the word of Hard Ass Bitch Month is spreading though. i am telling my friends and one of them, Cassie, has spread the word on Twitter! [FOLLOW HER HERE] and if you guys don't know you can also follow us on Twitter! [FOLLOW US HERE]

now for the Hard Ass Bitch of the Day, and I know it's a repeat but...Brody Dalle



Ali made a good point today-at the end of this month, be someone you would fuck. if you were a dude. into girls. you get the picture. and Brody is a Hard Ass Bitch. she wins.

this next person REALLY should have gone on our master list in the first place, i don't know why he didn't:

yes, Samuel L. Jackson

he's one bad motherfucker.

love and peace from the east [village} NYC
-smit

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/thepaperdollsla

Hard Ass Bitch of the '90s

Alanis Morsette (duh)
"You Outta Know"

true story

this has nothing to do with Hard Ass Bitch Month: but about how your Hard Ass Bitch friends are always there for you no matter what.

i have the best friends in the whole world and nothing will ever replace them.

love you all.

always trust your gut...it's your lie detector.

-Smit in NYC <3

HAB day 3 (Ali edition)

wore:
Black winter leggings
Black knee high boots
Dark grey deep V
Little girls motorcycle jacket
Gold chain necklace.
Black hooded scarf

Got 'It Might Get Loud' on netflix so stoaked I loved it in theatres gonna watch it right about...now.

I busted my ass at work and pretty much hung up on my boss cause she was stupid. I do what I want. My Fuck you went to a dumbass in a Lexus, learn how to drive assholes.

Danielle, I'm not making tacos for you.

-ali

Hard Ass Bitch Day 3 (Smit Edition)

outfit for day 3:
leggings (duh)
an old shirt with the pirate skull and crossbones i think ive had since i was 12
a blazer (to add to unstability because i seem classy then BOOM, bitch has a beat up shirt on)
leather boots (that were still wet from yesterday) so...
i had to put on other boots that will remain nameless because they aren't that Hard

hard ass bitch inspiration:


i would like to kick ass like ^^ Uma Thurman in "Kill Bill" ...


wearing these heels.

dream. gunna do it.

-smit NYC

response to Ali:
Fuck You. i say this with love.

she told everyone that "Zach jizzed his pants after only one bite of my taco"

end of story.

HAB day 2 (Ali edition)

The day in retrospect.

-woke up around 11
-brushed my teeth
-took my B.C. With a shot of Captain Morgan
-walked around aimlessly may have been clothes may not have been clothed.
-decided to cook dinner for once in my life
* I made excellent tacos the few and fortunate to consume them are forever changed for the better (this is so rare, I never cook I hate it I suck at it I hurt myself)
-Listened to The Clash, The Distillers, YYY's, ColdWar Kids, and The Black Keys.
-Zach and I then went to our friend Spencer's show at the House Of Blues.

I used my Fuck You on everyone who decided to turn my Taco's into something dirty. Again, FUCK you.

-ali.

sad day

Yesterday my family had to put my German Shepherd to sleep =( He was the most amazing dog I've ever had. He truly was a huge part of the family and I will always miss him.


I love you Cajun RIP





-Selena(Eugene)

Hard Ass Bitch Day 2

as you may recall, being unstable and having people question your sanity is a rule of being a HAB.

SO: inspiration for today:

The Natalie Portman Rap from SNL...bitch is SO UNSTABLE and SO PERFECT for Hard Ass Bitch Month.

hard ass bitch experimental month

its like lent but in reverse and for all the wrong reasons.

ali and i have decided that Feb/March (a total of four weeks starting right now) will be HARD ASS BITCH MONTH. what does that mean? you ask. well, there are a few simple rules.

1. take shit from no one
2. must wear once piece of leather a day
3. at least once ride a motorcycle
4. go to the shooting range
5. no crying
6. DON'T LOOK BACK (very important)
7. don't be afraid to speak your mind
8. no reason to be polite to assholes
9. black eye makeup
10. one "FUCK YOU" a day
11.no sappy movies
12.no saying you're sorry
13.wash your hair as little as possible (this won't be hard for me)
14. make people question your stability

this all may seem disjointed to you, so we have collected some photographic inspiration:
















so with all of that said, these two private school girls will be badasses.

-smit and ali NYC->LA

****honorary members are Jaci and Anna****

Sites on BLAST

* I have no affiliation with these site I just find them side splittingly enjoyable.


www.Unrelatedcaptions.com

www.Mylifeisaverage.com

www.Snacksandshit.com

Enjoy.

Oh, and I know, you're welcome.

-Ali

this is why i love rachel

Participants:
-------------
Ali Montrose, Rachel

Messages:
---------
Rachel: Heyyy
Ali Montrose: Oh hay
Rachel: Whatcha doing girlllll
Ali Montrose: Nothing just finished my book
Ali Montrose: You?
Rachel: Was it a dirty magazine
Ali Montrose: Good guess
Ali Montrose: But NO ahahahah
Rachel: Ahahahahah
Rachel: Liar
Rachel: Don't be embarrassed
Rachel: I won't tell anyone



Best thing to ever happen after 11 pm on my blackberry

asdjfnauhbdsfnk

i haven't left my room at all today. all in all it was a waste of a very pretty sunday.
i did find this.

so if anyone wants to buy it for me, that would be GREAT.

sorry that i haven't been updating-going through a lot of shit right now and i really just want summer to be here so the air can clear and life can be sorted out.

know what i mean?

life. damn you.

-smit NYC

wishing wish wish

Wish I had some tea already made cause I'm too lazy to make it.
Today:
Late start
Laundry
Stonefire lunch w/ Emma and Sandra
Mall trip
Movie watching

All in all lazy day off.

And my sisters tea cup yorkie (Bella) is pregs with my moms miniature dachsund's (Mr. Noodle) bastard puppies. Who wants one?

Seriously though, if you haven't checked out our Tumblr please do so.

P.s. Where the fuck is Selena?!
-ali

do as i say, not as i do

so today jaci convinced me that it would be a good idea to go chatroulette because she didn't want to write an essay.
i wasnt down.
then we started and its THE FUNNIEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

okay listen:
we talked to a girl in nebraska
talked to some guy in germany who had no vocal cords
talked to some super high guy
talked to a 30 year old who claimed to be in homeschool who couldn't talk but asked us if we wanted to see him wack it
THEN WE SAW LIKE 4 WEINERS IN A ROW
LISTEN---this started out as a joke but turned so disturbing

so...unless you are sad and alone and between the ages of 14-30 and you're male looking for some skanky skank nut to show her ta-tas to play with yourself...im gunna say pass.



...unless you're the flash or obama

xx
-smit NYC

formspring.me

Why are there only 4 of you in this picture to my right?

when we had the group photos taken, Selena was still up in Oregon. she couldn't make it down because of work, which is totally cool...a girl's gotta make her money right? on our blog you can see what she looks like (her individual shots look A LOT different than ours haha). Maggie did a good job of putting together what she could of photos that she already had of Selena.

blog link:
http://www.thepaperdollsla.com

xx
-smit

Ask me anything

formspring.me

which one's the sluttiest?

depends on what you mean by sluttiest...are we using the scale system?

Ask me anything

stalk us like we stalk you (that sounds creepy)

TWITTER

TUMBLR

ali and i are basically running these two shows-its entertaining.
selena will also provide "special services"

lovelovelove

-smit NYC

...and in just a few moments it will just be another day.

this weekend was amazing...Piera came to NYC and it was amaaaaaaaazing seeing one of my best friends after so long, made me feel sane again.

what we did:
chinatown-went into a secret room with stolen designer bags (good story to tell)
east for sushi (on 26th and 3rd ave)
dumpling man (8th and 1st ave)
valentine's day (the movie...which was cute! i don't know what people were expecting from a gary marshall movie besides sap and something that would just make you smile. come on. it was cute shut up)
pesto- made by piera, she is very good at being italian
general shopping- urban, forever, etc etc etc

now it's back to the daily grind of life and school i guess...coool.

my birthday is coming up and i'm really trying to make it home the day after so i can see alice with ali and drink yummy dranks. also to see SELENA because she has decided that she WILL come say hello to LA for a few days and i can't wait to smear her with cheese and jalapenos.

ridiculous find of the day:

this piece of shit thinks that he's the casanova of the universe and even goes so far as to say "im the travelocity of pussy" well sir, to that i will say that you hook desperate, sad, lonely women who see your 1970s, greasy jerry curls as attractive. there is nothing appealing about you approaching strangers on the street and grabbing their asses. he also used to be a doctor-key word used to, he got charged with sexual assault. BIG SURPRISE. this guy is a straight dick, and without further a-du, please direct your attention below...i couldn't watch it i was disgusted. entertained at first (because he is shopping this around and trying to get a movie out of it) and then i got totally grossed out because hes so ugly.



if that's not enough



some say that these are pranks and that the producer for borat and bruno is trying to make this into a movie. well its not as funny as borat and bruno, its gross. there will never be another sasha baron cohen, sorry! HUGE FAIL

peace from the east [village]
-smit

p.s.-i find it really entertaining when people try to either "joke" or be straight rude. because you really have no idea what you're in for if you're going to try and be an asshole to me or my friends. no threats, just a warning. you're on my radar and not as easy going and nice as your first few impressions. we see through you.

love you, bitch!

I'm so annoyed right now. I really don't understand why people need to be douches? Seriously....and for once I'm not talking about guys being douches.


Here are some of the pictures from my roommates birthday thing. It was pretty fun.







-Selena(Eugene)

What's up world!? I'm up way earlier than I need to be. This is dumb. Yesterday I went to Pasadena for breakfast at this place called Dona Rosa and had the best flan and breakfast burrito of my life then went antiquing where I bought a set of antlers and an elephant tea pot. Anyway last night I went to a surprise party at Emma's for our friend Scout and her 21st birthday! We had an Alice in Wonderland theme and everyone dressed up! I was the card that paints the roses red. I've got some polaroids that I'll scan in eventually. We decorated with missmatched tea pots everywhere and put dry ice inside. This would have been cool if the dry ice didn't fail miserably.Had a lot of fun lots of random and impromptu dance parties throught the house. I discovered Kristens secret ability to dance, she's hiding it from the world that leg bounce she does is a cover for the itch she always has to do the stanky leg. However Rachel,Emma, Scout, CJ, and Michael got down, real down for the world. Oh me? I don't get low, I'm a lady.
As always pictures on our Tumblr!

ThePaperDollsLA.Tumblr.com
Ali

This is a long post sit down and take off your pants, get comfortable.

I've been going about this the wrong way. I've been so afraid and so locked up in my own thoughts and fears, anxieties and doubts that I've backed myself into a corner and caused a block.

This just in life doesn't have corners.

I've been so afraid of fucking up and taking the wrong path that I haven't taken any path or any chances at all! I've got to start living, taking chances, and even if it scares me, fucking up well thats part of it. I figure if you fuck up enough times you'll do something right and then everything or at least something will make sense. It has to be better than doing nothing out of fear of the unkown, and going nowhere at all.

What I need to stop doing is saying that I need to know right now and forcing myself into anxiety attacks and going in circles trying to get it figured out. Bottom line I'm not going to make it happen right now. Its going to happen when its supposed to happen. None of this worry is going to get me anywhere, as I've said before worry is not proactive All I can do is live and live well and try new things do more things and eventually I'm going to figure it out. Its ok for me to be young. Being young, being lost same thing, its just growing and finding it out my way.

Of course the first question everyone seems to ask and the anxiety starter is this- 'What are you doing? What do you want to do?' and I've been so stressed that my answer is simply 'I don't know', that answer in itself scares the shit out of me let alone the fact that its true. But I have to let myself accept that its OK. I've already done miles more than most people my age. I'm not wasting away in a college that wasn't right for me. I did things my way I always have and I always will. I have to let myself be open, open to life, to new faces, careers, paths, landscapes, and options ALL of it. I want to be open enough to accept and see things when they happen not this stressed out little creature who is afraid for her life almost literally. When the right thing comes I will undoubtedly know it, instinctively.

So from here on out its one day at a time, making the most of each day. Every day is magic, every second is a gift so I am going take it by the reins and live it. I just can't live with myself if I live miserably and drag my feet cause I don't have it down yet. I'm 20 years old. I haven't got a clue. Let's face it nobody any of us knows has a clue.


I refuse to live one more day pissed at myself for not being my own idea of perfect and not having it all right this instant. This life that I'm living, it IS good enough. This is the path I'm supposed to take and none of it is a mistake My friends are phenomenal, my family is fantastic, the experiences I have on a weekly basis, hell, a daily basis are more than anyone could ask for and I don't even appreciate them, till now that I see and my eyes are open. I'm not going to be sad at dumb things anymore. I don't have time to let them or anxiety blur my vision and my way. Your life is not average, it is extraordinary. You and your path are extraordinary. Everything about you is astounding. We are more than enough.

So for now and always I'm going to live and accept things, work with them, go with the inevitable flow. Going to live and make sense of things or let them go.

This is enough I am enough and when it clicks, when it happens I'll be ready.

-Ali Montrose The Paper Dolls LA

hey life, stop it.

Sleep Sound my pup.
Lady Penelope Diamond Montrose

Best Bassett hound known to man. You were even cool when you couldn't hear anymore and I thought you just hated me. You were even cooler when you got blind so you had wonky eye balls and Dad had to put bubb le wrap on all the corners of the house. You were the coolest.

-Ali Montrose

Party in Simi?

Usually I object (VERY strongly) to any adventures that will take me over the hill into the small abyss that is the Simi Valley.

- WARNING ALI IS ABOUT TO GO ON A TANGENT NOW-

I once told a dear friend that Simi was the very definition of a pathetic suburbia...he then packed his bags and started a new life in Huntington Beach (upgrade). To that boy if he should read this; Tim I love you very much (even though you don't know why and ask constantly how) and I'm so proud of you I will always believe in you and your choices, one day we will get married and adopt children, make bohemian babies and have colorful affairs with foreign lovers, yours will be male, and mine will...also be male though I'm sure yours will be exponentially sexier. We won't ever fight I promise ahahah.

-COMING BACK NOW-

However, it was my good friend Steven's 23rd birthday and his parties are never 'Simi' parties. It was great saw a few friends, went with Emma and my friend Rachel met up too. Saw some people I really wish I could see more of. I don't know how really but we for sure drank a really big bottle of Livingston. It was a good night, Steve is going to have a great year!

Thoughts on The Who's set at 1/2 time?

*P.S. No offense if you live in Simi, I'm not singling you out I just have a grudge...obviously.


-Ali (Los Angeles)

formspring.me

So for real... Who's down with the vag? I have my money on Montrose.

wrong, its Selena.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/thepaperdollsla

formspring.me

Would you rather be skinny with an ugly face or fat with a pretty face?

too bad we're all perfect

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Who's the most overrated actor?

rp

Ask me anything

formspring.me

is just the tip sex?

depends...going for the tipdrill? youre a whore. just the tip? he's a pansy and/or you are a true lady. say no to tipdrill...selena has a lot of experience with this.-SMIT of TPDLA

Ask me anything

Lazy Daisy

Thursday Emma and I hungout all day we met up with our friend Michael for a bit and when I agreed to play dress up he took advantage of the situation and I ended up in 4 layers of ruffled dresses and itchy sweaters. Worlds most evil gay man.

After that we grabbed some foo and In N Out and tried to nap watching Alice in Wonderland.

Later we watched our friend Scouts episode of CSI (she was so good). The people who came out were....interesting. I don't really want to elaborate just believe me. Emma and I ended up crashing in her room watching DVR'ed 30 rock. So much better than the mess going on in the rest of the house. And then Last night my friend Mike and I had a movie night and demolished a large bottle of red wine. There's not much better than giving in to the sleepy drunk wine gives you,in your own bed.

Tonight HUGE party at Steven's for his 23rd!

Later gators,
Ali

DONATE TO CANCER!

DONATE TO CANCER THROUGH RELAY FOR LIFE (sponsored by ACS)


donate through team "Booyah"
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?pg=entry&fr_id=23235



-Piera
(Boston)

sconezzz

so i tend to believe that i live a life of danger and risk-taking...so yesterday i make scones. and took pictures. please, i know, don't tell me to calm down on my thrill seeking, it's what i live for.


the mixinzz

sicky icky

ready to bake

id like to introduce you to the smallest oven EVER

no words

some butter and organiz strawberry jam from Trader Joe's jiiiizzz


they were delicious.

continuing on---
yesterday i tweeted (follow us!) that i was at the Dumpling Man in NYC and a site saw it and posted it! super fun and exciting! so ill say it again, if youre in the East Village head over to 8th (st. marks) and 1st go to the dumpling man! (the dudes who work there are also very attractive)

happy friday! off to work so i can shoot tomorrow!

peace and love from NYC
-smit

w00t

Tomorrow night a bunch of us are going out for Cory's b-day!


I'll post pictures on saturday when I get back from Portland!!


Love&Peace
-Selena(Eugene)

teaching kids in england to jizz on each other?!

Kids Show Fail
Uploaded by failblog. - Sitcom, sketch, and standup comedy videos.

found this courtesy of FAILBLOG of course. enjoy

bear jew

"break me off a piece of that"

now YOU name the movie that quote is from.

-smit NYC

so jewish it hurts

no, not me. but my name if i married eli roth which is going to happen.
watch.

soooo class from 3-9 lab before and after. im in there now.

i will say this ONCE ONLY---nothing worse than listening to a new york hipsters music: it falls under one of the two categories
1- early 90s rap
2- techno

if anyone knows me, they know i don't like 90s rap, ESPECIALLY TUPAC. sorry west coast.

just say no...im going to be attacked by someone in the near future for this.

metaphorics

' I was more ashamed that I couldn`t work the washing machine than the fact that I was taking drugs.'-Elton John

He's the musician of the day on our tumblr. Oh EJ I can completely relate.


Nothing in the world feels better than freshly laundered sheets, especially if you can get them ironed. I know that this might seem pointless but believe me if you take the time to iron them or pay your cleaners 10 bucks to do it, it pays off. Sleeping in freshly ironed sheets is a beautiful feeling.


Just got home from work, lame day. Going to order in some food and hang out with Emma and Sandra. Drunk slushees. I promise I don't even really like drinking and I don't even condone doing what I'm doing but I swear dude I've got to shut myself up somehow alchohol just seems to be the easiest way, hence the drunk slushees. Maybe ill work with some clay tonight.

Love from the west.
Ali

realizations of the day

1. its damn cold outside
2. this website told me i look like mariah carey. if im remembering this correctly, a man randomly told me on the street that i look like mariah carey back in december. now its feb and this website says i look like her. still confused if i should be insulted or honored...

3. had a great/also horrible dinner. mac n cheese and wine. college win or life fail? end results: full and drunk. im going to call this a life win.



CHECK OUT OUR TUMBLR and TWITTER

those are the two i update the most.

love and peace from the east [village]
-smit

American Youth and the starving artist

I totally just spent my check in the worst way. Frivolous shoping expendatures. It goes as follows:

American Apparel-
-tank w/pocket
-burnout tank (super soft and see thru)
-baseball t-shirt (for team schwasty)
-white V-neck

Banana Republic-
-locket
-chain and brooche necklace

Free People-
-acid wash black pants
-black riding pants
-black lace bra

Victorias Secret-
-lace underwear

P.S. I totally put off buying underwear by simply just not wearing any thus totally erasing the need to buy any. That's how metal I am. (Do not judge me America...or dolls) I now probably have a whoping 50 dollars in my account. Can't wait to have a real job and make real money... God damn being a lady is expensive and living in L.A. Fuck. This leaves me enough money for gas OH! And cheap wine. Oh yes, this is the American youth. I'm not gonna lie I have mad anxiety about the money I just spent but instead of freaking out and popping a *prescribed* xanax, I am going to glamourize the situation and call it youth and the starving artist. Live it America, Live it.

Till next time, happy deficit.

Love always,Ali

wasted away again...

And not in Margaritaville cause I'm not that cool and I'm not with Smit who is the only one who can take me to Margaritaville.

This week all ran together I can't remember what day I did things but I remember this so far-
Lunch with Nate...pretty sure our convo was NC17 at The Stand and we spoke loudly.

Left my car lights on for hours and it died so Devin had to come jump start the Rover.

Emma's got silly, Merlot was involved. Danced around with Emma (got low), Michael, CJ, and Scout. Jason and Steve showed up we drank some more, talked got snacks. Mellow was Harshed by drunks...
*Pictures on our Tumblr

Went shopping bought a 2nd pair of riding pants identical to ones I already own (on purpose)

Sushi with the Twins (Steph and Chrissy) saw When in Rome _ actually a sweet movie_

Saw Avatar in 3D IMAX with my sister - mind blown. Why are tickets 16 dollars!?!

Went to my aunts discussed her book and then she handmade me pizza with amazing toppings-Win. Watched the Grammys -Yawn.

I keep having dreams about stupid people. Scratch. Person. I can't seem to shut my brain off so this week I'm embarking on an event that will help me forget said events and person via a team of drinkers (friends) and lots of drank (schwasty sauce). I figure labotomies are antiqauted and I'm opposed to hard drugs so drinking will have to do the trick. I hate to share this part but I'm trying this thing called being human. I don't know how long it will last so enjoy my self extortion.


-team schwasty
Ali (L.A)